Harvard University has produced many great men of higher learning since it has been in business. They know who they are. I don’t need to mention any of them here — probably a bunch of presidents and whatnot, all of us men know how the game works. That’s not what’s up for debate.

Actually nothing is up for debate. The head of Harvard University said at a conference recently that women suck at math and science. What he did was grant all women an honorary PhD in In Your Face-onomics.

The point he was trying to make was simple: when it comes to math or science or using your brain, men are using the cream of the crop of brains — the top shelf. We are driving high performance thinking machines. We are moving mountains of thought with our mighty man-brains which operate like huge construction machinery.

Women, the headmaster of America’s top university is saying, are using brains that resemble a broken tricycle one might find at a garage sale in the bad part of town. Women’s brains reek of tetanus and squeak like a hamster wheel.

I checked around for an exact quote from the esteemed president of Harvard: Lawrence “The Never-ending” Summers, but I couldn’t find one. This is probably what he said though:

“Women couldn’t do math even if it tasted like chocolate.”

The fact that he’s right in every way didn’t keep fore-running members of the woman community from throwing major hissy-fits the second the words left his mouth. I’m sure they had been lying in wait for such a baseless, yet socially imposed social faux pas — like rats lurking under the picnic tables at the county fair. That’s how women behave when they land themselves in an industry where good looks and cock teasing won’t save their ass: the man-realm of science.